the "HEART" of the matter....

I've been "accused" (I use that term for lack of a better one)of wearing my emotions on my sleeve and tonight I am definitely emotional. The last year for me has been an emotional roller coaster of epic proportions. This move is only adding to it all.

It took me way to long in life to really understand the true value of friends and even more so family. Now I lay here the night before another move that will again take me away from everything I have ever known and all I care about. I do well to hide it most of the time. However, the truth is... I'm tired of it. I do believe that the Lord has good plans for me and I trust Him or I wouldn't be going. At some point it would be nice to stay somewhere, build solid friendships and Lord willing a family of my own.

To this point I have done well but it has taken much effort to not ball like a baby. Now writing, I'm on the verge.

So what is the heart of the matter anyway. It is the heart. It is not about the move, the friends, the job or even family. It is about my heart and the simple fact that God wants all of it. He knows what is best for me. That being that which will draw me closer to Him. The creator of the Universe knows me fully and wants to be known by me and to be loved by me.

Lord help me see this move with your eyes. With an attitude of surrender and a desire to seek you in it. To learn what you would have me learn, lead where you would have me lead and follow where you would have me follow.

Grant me Your peace that passes all understanding, and/or lack there of, and make me fully dependent upon You and You alone. That my heart, soul, strength and mind would be fully surrendered to You.