the "HEART" of the matter....

I've been "accused" (I use that term for lack of a better one)of wearing my emotions on my sleeve and tonight I am definitely emotional. The last year for me has been an emotional roller coaster of epic proportions. This move is only adding to it all.

It took me way to long in life to really understand the true value of friends and even more so family. Now I lay here the night before another move that will again take me away from everything I have ever known and all I care about. I do well to hide it most of the time. However, the truth is... I'm tired of it. I do believe that the Lord has good plans for me and I trust Him or I wouldn't be going. At some point it would be nice to stay somewhere, build solid friendships and Lord willing a family of my own.

To this point I have done well but it has taken much effort to not ball like a baby. Now writing, I'm on the verge.

So what is the heart of the matter anyway. It is the heart. It is not about the move, the friends, the job or even family. It is about my heart and the simple fact that God wants all of it. He knows what is best for me. That being that which will draw me closer to Him. The creator of the Universe knows me fully and wants to be known by me and to be loved by me.

Lord help me see this move with your eyes. With an attitude of surrender and a desire to seek you in it. To learn what you would have me learn, lead where you would have me lead and follow where you would have me follow.

Grant me Your peace that passes all understanding, and/or lack there of, and make me fully dependent upon You and You alone. That my heart, soul, strength and mind would be fully surrendered to You.

notes from the drive...

I just got back from my trip to Colorado Springs. It was a beautiful drive and I heard some great stuff on the radio. Here are some notes of what stood out to me.

For starters, I am not a Browns fan but they did woop up on the Patriots yesterday. The Raiders and Chiefs played yesterday, and the game mattered. They are the top two teams in the division for the first time in years!!! Wish I could have watched that one.

I heard a sermon on the way over from a pastor in Seattle. He was talking about our lists. We have lists of what we want to do and accomplish as well as the perfect mate, who we want to marry. He used Boaz as an example for this and it was pretty interesting. What must Boaz's list have looked like. Poor homely looking looking widow standing in the welfare line. I don't think that is what he was looking for. He noticed her heart, that it was for her family and for God. She was a woman of integrity and who was willing to do what was necessary to survive and take care of her family. Boaz accepted who God put in front of Him and loved her with everything he was and had.

The one I heard this morning on the home stretch was good also. He was talking about Paul and the "thorn in his flesh". Paul said it was given to him so that he would not become conceited. God is more concerned with our growth and ability to serve Him than our happiness. He wants us to become who He has created us to be. It is not that He doesn't want us to be happy but it is not His first concern. How long did He let the Israelite's wonder in the desert? More importantly, why? Why, because He wanted their obedience, their trust and their love. It took so long because they were stubborn, just like us :-\

Lord take me thru what you must to make me who you want me to be. Lord, let me be a FAST learner :-)

how must God feel.....

God created us in His image. He loves us unconditionally to the point of sending His son to die on the cross for our sins.

How must God feel....

Most of us have felt loved in our lives. Love of a friend or spouse, the love of our parents or hopefully one at least. The love of our grandparents or nieces and nephews or a boy/girl friend. Most of us have felt love for another as well most likely one listed above.

How must God feel....

We all know that feeling when our heart aches to be near someone. When you long to hear their voice, see the smile on their face and even stare into those beautiful eyes. To play a game of cards, toss a frisbee or watch a sunset together.

How must God feel....




Most of us at one time or another have felt like we would do anything for someone. We'd get a haircut, shave or even move across the country maybe even to the other side of the world for that certain someone. Like you'd walk 500 miles just to see them or swim an ocean just to give them a hug. We'll go on a diet or start exercising more just to try and be who they want.

How must God feel....

What would you do? How would you feel? If the one who was fully meant to be with you and for you set you aside for something else. The one you know to be your soul-mate left you for greener grass.

How must God feel....

We are that one. Created by God to be with Him. Without question the one He longs to be with. He wants to hear your voice and for you to hear His. Do you listen? Do you hear? He loves us more than we are capable of understanding and what.... we offer Him a little time each morning and Sunday before the games start?

How would you feel? Not that any of us is even close to understanding His love or perspective, but ponder it with me if you will.

How must God feel to be rejected by those He created and loves? Whom He has known from before time and set aside His love for each of us. His patience never ending His sadness...is it ever growing? Caused by our continued rebellion, discarding Him like just another thing to do? Or someone that we know will be there, IF we need Him?

How must God feel....



Oh that we would know His love lavished upon us daily. If we knew just a bit of how He loves us, would we change? Would we step out and begin letting Him transform us to who He would have us be? He does love us, he loves you. Do you trust Him? Will you trust Him? Will you walk and talk with Him on the good days and bad? Will you let Him be your all so that He can show you His all for you?

Lord that I would be your servant, child, target of affection and recipient of your grace and mercy. Show me more of you and draw me near Lord God change me from the inside that I may glorify your name. That the Name of Jesus the Christ would be my constant companion and visible in glory to those around me and each of us.